Laughter is the Best Medicine!
A student in our night-school class protested to the instructor that, although he
hadn't missed a class, a notice had been mailed to him stating that he had been
absent for three nights.  After checking his records, the instructor agreed that an
error had been made and assured the student he would straighten it out with the
"It's not the dean I'm worried about," said the student.  "Who's going to explain it to
my wife?"
Sir Winston Churchill was once asked what qualifications he thought the most essential
for a politician.
Without hesitation, he answered: "It's the ability to foretell what will happen tomorrow,
next month and next year and to explain afterward why it did not happen,"
"Father doesn't approve of my "going with you," the young lady told her current boy
friend, "so I am afraid we won't be able to see each other any more."
"But," the young man demanded, "on what grounds" does your father object to me?"
"Well, frankly," was her reply, "on any grounds" within a mile of our house.
The London Sunday Times prints the following conversation between a visiting
American and an Eton schoolmaster:
"Do you allow your boys to smoke?" the American asked.
"I'm afraid not," Said the Etonian.
"Can they drink?"
"Good gracious, no."
"What about dates?"
" Oh, that's quite all right," said the master, "as long as they don't eat too many."
There's a bartender over on Third Avenue who keeps a monkey as a pet.  Most of his
regular customers know about it, but every now and then a newcomer gets a nasty
shock.  Two strangers dropped in the other day and hoisted a few. Suddenly the
monkey jumped on their table, chattered at them, jumped down again and disappeared
into the back room.
There was a long stunned pause.  Then one of the drinkers turned to the other.  " I
know what you think," he said.  "You think I saw a monkey.  Well, I didn't"
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A pretty young lady presented a check at a bank for cashing.  The teller examined
it, then asked, "Can you identify yourself?"
Looking puzzled, the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror.
She glanced in it for a moment, and then smiled, "Yes, it's me all right."
Little Donald's mother was in the habit of reading stories to him every night out of
a favorite books.
One evening, unable to find the book, she entertained him with tales of her girlhood
on the farm.
Donald's eyes grew bigger and bigger as she told of wading in the pond, going
berry picking, and riding a real live horse. "Gee, Mom," he sighed, "I sure wish I'd
met you earlier!"